Lessons from 9/11

offered to the people of California

1. This is going to be rough. This is real. Your landscape has been altered and so many lives shattered, and all of you have been wounded. All.

The waves of emotions will build and ebb and it won’t make sense. The sense that something is terribly not right - is right. It’s the path to things making sense again. Hope is on that path.

2. People will use this for their own aims, politics, beliefs and attempt to urge you to join them. I hope you don’t. Not because whatever they’re saying is wrong or right or crazy or rational. But because it removes you from the only thing that such a horror offers - humanity.

3. Don’t hide away despite the urgings to lockdown, or emerge only once it’s safe to be out, or even just safe enough - go out. Be with your people. YOUR PEOPLE. Safety 3rd now makes sense.

In fact …It’s the only thing that makes sense. Being human is the only thing that makes sense when nothing does. Trauma and grief is human. Be human.

4. Anyone who wonders about how you’re reacting, is it enough, is it normal? You can choose to let that go. There is no normal way to process trauma. There are shared ways but nothing normal. You are individuals - not just a spectacle. And your shared collective trauma doesn’t undo your individual grief. There is no way you’re supposed to be. Just be. And look for those who can be too and just be.

5. When it’s uncomfortable be uncomfortable.

6. Don’t let anyone turn you into a stage or film set. Be there. And please - when the time is right - tell the stories. Not the politics. Fuck politics. Tell the stories.

7. Don’t let anyone turn this into another ingroup/outgroup. The people of LA are incredible and what people think you are is very different than what you are. Those that need to make this into their reel? You can let them go. You always did. Please do so now. Be human.

8. Bars and restaurants were full that Tuesday in NYC. TVs were off. We had no social media. I thank God every day for that. Every day.

9. Ignore those who seem to not see you and see you as a political pawn. Their empathy is shallow. You can let that go. Please do.

With love, from within the NY Diaspora.

Oh. One more thing.

You’ll laugh…one day, very hard and deeply at something really, incredibly stupid. You’ll catch yourself. Remember that moment forever. It’s a gift.

Then…one day, you’ll even make a joke about what’s happening / happened that’s not PC and not appropriate and others will hear it, and you’ll all laugh. Remember that moment too. It’s a gift.

Remember thought, that these moments, the gifts out of smoke and fire and grief only come if you BE with YOUR PEOPLE first. Just be.

And you’ll see that no matter what comes next - no one will be able to define your home but you. Ever.